


The Perfect Lover

by Anonymous



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Consent, Happy Ending, Kinks, Masturbation, Other, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:04:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It was commonly supposed that Lord Vetinari did not feel carnal desires, and therefore was not inclined to fancy one sort of person or another.This was incorrect. Lord Vetinari was, in fact, inclined so strongly to fancy a certain sort of person that he approached the object of his interest at a steep angle. His tastes were neither moderate nor obscure. They were merely very specific.





	The Perfect Lover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zaganthi (Caffiends)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiends/gifts).

It was commonly supposed that Lord Vetinari did not feel carnal desires, and therefore was not inclined to fancy one sort of person or another.

This was incorrect. Lord Vetinari was, in fact, inclined so strongly to fancy a certain sort of person that he approached the object of his interest at a steep angle. His tastes were neither moderate nor obscure. They were merely very specific. 

"Havelock," his lover whispered tenderly. "Please, Havelock—"

Lord Vetinari raised an eyebrow. " 'My lord,' " he corrected.

"My lord," rasped the sultry voice. "I beg you... please, touch me."

The Patrician's lips twisted cruelly. "And where is the satisfaction in this for me?"

"I..." His lover was nervous now. "I am certain I can find ways to satisfy you, my lord. Whatever you want. Whatever you need."

"An admirable ambition, but you have failed to take into consideration the possibility that what I desire is to seek my own pleasure from you, after my own fashion."

"I would be greatly honored," his lover assured him. "Do whatever you want with me. My body is yours."

This was strictly as well as metaphorically correct. Lord Vetinari ordinarily eschewed such phrases, as they risked breaking the illusion that he spoke to someone other than himself, but sometimes he found his own wit as irresistible as his own body.

He closed his eyes as he traced the tips of his fingers down his chest, meticulously avoiding any erogenous zones. "Is this the sort of thing you had in mind?"

He opened his eyes again, watching the lean, pale body writhing in the mirror. "No, please... you know what I want," his reflection begged him.

"I do indeed," he murmured. "I do indeed."

With precision and care, as ever, he set about giving himself exactly what he wanted.


End file.
